“The biggest disease affecting humanity: I’m not enough.” Marisa Peer
Growing up I never felt like I was enough.😔
I felt I had to hustle for love by being great at everything I did. The best student, athlete, the responsible one, the good girl. As long as I could prove my worth I was safe. Love didn't feel unconditional it had to be earned and so it could be held back from me at any moment until I did something great to earn it back.
It stayed like this into my 20's and 30's.
Even though I was successful and confident in my career I still felt like I wasn't enough to be worthy of unconditional love from myself or others. I became a workaholic because achieving made me feel good enough. But that never lasted very long. I had to do more and more to keep on proving my worth. The title, the salary - those were things I could point to as evidence of my value. 👩💻
The interesting part about all of this is that people who knew me would probably be surprised to know I felt this way. I got really good at hiding who I really was and how I felt because that's the only thing that felt safe to me.
This showed up most profoundly in my relationships. Because I felt unworthy, there was lots of self-sabotage that went on until finally someone I really loved walked away. I couldn't recognize unconditional love even when I had it and I guess deep down I felt like I didn't deserve it.
And so once again the belief that I wasn't good enough was reinforced.
I'm sure many of you can relate.😢
This has been true for so many of the girls and women I have known in my life and is the case for most of my clients.
It wasn't until my late thirties that I started to figure out how to love myself unconditionally. When you finally clear the limiting belief that you are unworthy you can begin to heal and become a loving parent to yourself.
Doing this isn't always easy because that limiting belief is buried deep in our subconscious mind and it controls a very large percentage of our thinking.
Getting to the root cause of this belief, eliminating it and upgrading our thinking with new positive beliefs is how we can cure ourselves of "not good enough". When we do some amazing things start to happen...
You stop looking for approval from others - When you have a deep knowing that you are worthy you no longer need the approval of others to make you feel good. You stop doing things to please others so they will like you. You let go of people-pleasing and start to be more of your authentic self and live life in a way that is aligned with your values.
You create stronger boundaries in all your relationships. - When you love yourself you aren't willing to tolerate relationships that don't honor who you are. You start to surround yourself with people who make you feel good instead of those who, let's face it, probably don't love themselves very much. This is most true when it comes to romantic partners. When you feel empowered you will finally choose a partner who is right for you and not recreate the same toxic relationship again and again.
You become courageous - Instead of settling for the things in life that you don't want like a soul-sucking job, or friends that drain you, you are willing to walk away and take a risk to get what will make you truly happy. This is how you create your dream life. When you know you're worthy you take inspired action and meet your goals in all areas of life.
These changes are possible for you but you have to be willing to take action to change. The reason I love being an RTT practitioner and coach is that I can help women to immediately uncover, eliminate, and transform their thinking and beliefs so they know they are enough.
You are Worthy.
You are Enough!